The Omniscient
by meganxrawr
Summary: Written in response to a challenge. An unknown cloud-dweller takes us on an inside tour of Hermione and Draco's relationship.


Author's Notes: This was written very quickly in response to **Moge-'s** _The__Style__Change Challenge, _found at HPFC. Enjoy.

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_The Omniscient._

**meganxrawr.**

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This story begins on an early autumn day. Its opening finds us sitting on a cloud, watching our favorite couple, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. We look down to see them just outside their rambling farm house in the English country side. They have just finished a rather messy game of tackle tag. For those of you who have just joined me, tackle tag is much like normal tag, except instead of touching a person, you tackle them to the ground.

For the last 24 years, I have been watching these two. Their births, childhoods and school years, finally into adulthood. I've watched them hurl cruel words at each other, compete with each other and, finally, fight side by side against the darkest wizard to ever live. I never would have thought that they would end up together, had I not known that they had been destined to be together. Had I not known that I was created to protect them until they had joined each other forever. Now, I'm getting ahead of myself. That story is never to be told.

If you are under the age of 18, it might not be such a good idea for you to stay on this cloud with this scenery. Currently, as you can probably tell, they have shed all their inhibitions and are soaping and shampooing each other in their outside shower. They have no qualms about it, not worrying that anyone could drive by, or that any of their friends could floo or apparate in. They have absolutely no idea that we are watching, which we should all be thankful for. Draco Malfoy has a mighty bad temper in his possession, but, then again, so does Hermione.

This is a little awkward. I usually just read a book, or have a nap while they are involved in intercourse. Oh, you thought I was a creeper, did you? That I just sat here and got hot and bothered watching a couple drown themselves in each other? Well, I am extremely insulted that you would think that. Oh, look. They are finished, and they are wearing clothes. Oh, you are a little disappointed that my talking distracted you, and you didn't get to see them fornicating? Well, it serves you right. You shouldn't think such horrible things about people. HA! I am not a creeper.

Oh, will you listen? Hermione is planning on taking Draco on a picnic. Merlin, what are you, a bunch of girls? Stop sighing and thinking about romance. She does this at least once a week, showing new muggle and wizard concoctions to her future groom. I must say though, their picnics usually result in forgotten food, shed clothing and me reading a book. Shall we go a little closer and have a listen? Don't worry, they cannot hear us.

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"Hermione, what do you have for me today?"

"I have a mix of wizard and muggle today, Draco. This is thestral pie - it's invisible, you know!"

"Um, I can see it perfectly."

"Oh, well. Anyway..this is your muggle drink of the week."

"Bottled water? Why would anyone want water in a bottle?"

As you can tell, Draco is still a little naive about muggle ways. Hermione doesn't mind though, she loves teaching him new things. I always said that she should be a professor, but it just wasn't her fate. Oh dear, not this again. Oh, I guess you're all over 18. If you're not, you can't say I didn't warn you. Those two cannot seem to keep their hands of each other.

I probably should warn them, but it's too late.

"Oh, Merlin."

"Hermione, Draco, sorry."

"Ronald! Close your mouth before you find it filled with my foot."

"Gods, Hermione. No wonder you haven't been interested in girl's nights lately. I do not blame you."

It is simply delightful to see Harry Potter, Ginny Potter, Ron Weasley and Pansy Weasley blush simultaneously. It is even more delightful to see the thrusting of hips cut off abruptly, to see Hermione wrap herself in the picnic blanket, and to see Draco Malfoy cover his manly bits with an old straw hat.

"Potters! Weasleys!..."

"Guys, it's so nice to see all of you."

"Merlin, Malfoy! I can see your ass."

"Weasley, why were your eyes on my derriere?"

"Drakie, it is quite a lovely derriere, if I do say so myself."

"Ah, thank you, Pansy. And Weasley? Straw hats can only cover certain things."

My friends, it is time for you to leave. We'll let the three couples have some time together. Hopefully our favorite couple will put on some clothes, though. Until next time, keep an eye on the clouds and a straw hat close by. You never know when you could need either.

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These were the specifications. Just in case you wanted to know them.

Rules for this one are simple; pick any pairing in HP fandom and write a fic using one or more of the following prompts:

**Chess pieces**

**Shampoo**

**"Straw hats can only cover certain things..."**

**Clutching at straws**

**power**

**Yule**

**"Bottled water? why would anyone want water in a bottle?!"**

**Autumn**

**Seaside**

**"Thestral pie - it's invisible, you know!"**

**conscription**

**Dream Catcher**

**Pillow Fight**

**Nemisis**

**Dawn**

**Angels**

**Navy**

**"and THAT, Mr. Weasley, is how airplanes stay up"**

the catch is you have to write it in a different style to your 'norm'. e.g. if you're very descriptive, try using more dialogue or try a different perspective (1st, 3rd person etc)

the idea to this one being to get people to start using a more varied writing style. :)

No due date, can be any length (drabble to multi-chaptered epic).

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